Well, folks, we’ve already seen several weeks of gridiron action, and the fantasy football landscape has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride. Unfortunately for many, that rollercoaster has careened straight off it’s rusty track and ended up in a horrifying wreck discussed by local anchors trying to hide their smiles on the 6 o’clock news. Injuries are taking a devastating toll across the league and look as though they will play a bigger role than ever in how this all shakes out. I will have a keen eye out for any collusion type trades to rescue Jamison from the 100 car pileup that is currently the basis for his roster.
#1: TVBB (2-0)
It takes a ranker of supreme integrity to eschew his own personal grudge and put a mortal enemy at #1. The boys are the only 2-0 team, made a shrewd pickup in Williams that just benefited even more from Akers and Sean McVay finally breaking up, and the team even has some depth to weather what appears to be a cursed season. I wish Connor the best in his easy path to the championship.
#2: Jonathan’s Legends (1-1)
Is anyone else starting to worry about 4th Quarter Justin Herbert? I understand that the greatest NFL duck since Dan Fouts is burdened by a Head Coach who I honestly think Jon Dulong could out scheme, but even so, he’s got to start winning a few of these close games. All my life I’ve had hyped up Oregon NFL QB’s who don’t see a real 2nd contract, I need to see one win MVP. Anyways, Jon’s team is very good.
#3: Sir Douche (1-1)
Only Soroush can start an RB who the week prior had 1 carry, and then watch them carry for less than 3 yards a carry but fall ass backwards into the endzone twice. My top notch IT forensics team still hasn’t provided full proof of draft order corruption, but Scoones promises results soon. Until then, the floor is just so high for this team, especially because Mike Tomlin doesn’t seem to know that Jaylen Warren is better than Najee Harris…
#4: Forever Drank (1-1)
You guys didn’t believe any of that nonsense I wrote about having integrity right? I do like all my WR’s, still have some Kuppside, and the RB’s are very solid, although it would help if the Dallas Defense started falling down at the 1 instead of running fumbles, picks, and blocked punts all the back into the endzone.
#5: Nice Diggs (1-1)
There’s just something that I don’t like about this team, but I’m often wrong, and in fantasy I’m almost always wrong, so congrats in advance of a record breaking week Blowes….
#6: Nasty Nick (1-1)
Kyle Pitts is TE #28 thru two weeks, and I’m pretty sure Arthur Smith tried to have him killed last week. Daniel Jones followed up a fluke 30 pointer with a 3 point dump that we all knew he was good for. This is him trying to diagnose the 49 defense last night… Yikes
#7. So Sticky it Hurts (1-1)
Sticky laid a stinky…. I pick him to take care of Dr. Wearn and keep him in the basement, and he let’s us all down. Actually I looked thru the Archives, and the last 3 times I’ve picked Scoones to get it done he has let me down… So this one might be on me…
#8: Watson the Stove!? (1-1)
I’m putting Jack here solely because I’m upset he put up a 1 player 22 point Thursday night. Nothing is worse than waking up Friday morning and having to sit on your opponent having a 22 point lead for 48 hours. Again, I hope nobody really believed that I was a man of honor.
#9: Can we Re-Draft? (1-1)
Was the only team to win last week without scoring 100, has made two insulting trade offers to the Ranking Committee trying to trick me into buying Hunter Henry before he regresses to not averaging a TD a week. Didn’t answer my text message immediately last night… you know what, were gunna change him to 10th.
Real #9: Kelci and JoJo (1-1)
This team rose from DFL only because others have fallen, and basically I’ve realized the roster has a higher floor than I originally assessed, but the ceiling remains lower than a LiveOut Basement.
#11: Purdy Good (1-1)
This team is not Purdy Good and I’m worried Zach Moss has exactly 2 more weeks of utility, and unless Jacobs picks it up we might not have a serviceable RB on the roster. Allen had a nice bounce back week against the terrible Raiders defense, but won’t be as fortunate vs the Commanders.
#12/IR: Putrid LaPorta Potty (0-2)
There’s really nothing Putrid has done wrong here, but there’s not enough Waiver Wire in the world to put this thing back together. I personally have had the RB in front of Kareem Hunt several times, and if history repeats itself, it’s going to take about 1 week for him to start stealing enough carries, receptions and TD’s from Ford to make starting him very unfun. Luckily, Jamison is a proud graduate of the U of O Journalism school, so I’m sure the leagues rankings are in good hands. Jamo would you like the login to the wordpress site now or….?
Picks
What’s the opposite of the Midas touch? The kiss of death? I’m going to go with that, so here are this week’s Grim Reaper’s picks:
NFL (0-3):
Go Ducks Go (0-2): Watson over Drank
Go Ducks Go Power Rankings 
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