It is Wednesday afternoon as I start this post, not late Thursday night, so we are off to a much better start already! Speaking of great starts, HOW ABOUT THOSE PORTLAND TRAIL BLAZERS!!!? Dame looks amazing, Simons proves that projects are worth it. With all that in mind: Its BLAZERS WEEK – each team will be assigned a Trailblazer player (past or present) and I’ll explain my reasoning. (Update: They lost on Wednesday night, Dame tweaked his calf… anything I touch turns to mud).
#1: Drop your Mike’s (5-2) – Brandon Roy
Just like good old #7, Mike’s can heat it up with the best of em. The squad is obviously very good, but doesn’t possess all world talent or extreme athleticism. Instead they steadily chip away with productive play, using the angles and savvy to their advantage, and before you know it they have scored 116 points again… DYM stole my upset of the week call last night, winning our highest scoring matchup by just 3 points, and thus they keep the top spot.
#2: Kupp and Down (6-1) – Dame Lillard
5 Wins in a row! Has elite playmaking, and lives for the big moment. Commish loves Dame time, having won his last 3 matchups by 8 points or less. The ranking committee foresees great things for Lillard come playoff time.
#3: Can we Re-Draft (4-3) – Zach Randolph
This was by far the easiest selection of the week. Re-draft just finished serving a 1 week suspension for losing to the ranking committee, and I’m pretty sure Byron was also once arrested for trying to sell pot in South Los Angeles. On the court/field, the similarities couldn’t be more clear, as Byron has established a gritty, blue collar, “between the tackles” style fantasy squad you can’t help but respect.
#4: The Van Buren Boys (5-2) – LaMarcus Aldridge
A very good team who, for some reason, nobody really likes as much as they should. Aldridge used to get a ton of help from teammates, TVBB is getting a ton of help from the schedule, and neither of them ever demonstrate the proper gratitude for their situations, instead finding reasons to gripe about “not being the man” and so called “biased rankings”.
#5: Low Tee (3-4) – Anfernee Simons
This team has been what I would call a “project”. It took a good 5 weeks for the team to make some trades and pickups, and all of a sudden they look like a player to be feared. Yes they lost last week, but they still rise in our rankings… I think we are only beginning to tap the potential of Low Tee.
#6 So Sticky it Hurts (4-3) – Andre Miller
I’ll be honest, this has much more to do with the fact that Scoones has always sort of reminded me of Miller. Both have very strong ground games (seriously has anyone ever seen Geoff jump?) and great scowls… Hurts fits well with that theme too which is about as much of a tie in as I can make.
#7 Jonathon’s Legends (4-3) – Greg Oden
A team with unlimited potential and a big swinging you know what… Legends came onto the scene looking like he would dominate the league for weeks to come, but alas injuries have piled up. His current lineup has something like 200 “Q”s next to the players, and that might be an issue all year long. A tough matchup against Lillard this week could send Legend’s to the IR…
#8: Okwuegbunam Lowes (4-3) – Rasheed Wallace
The “Both teams played hard” award goes to Ok Lowes. The squad is made up of a bunch of good players on losing teams who are tired of answering your questions. Like Rasheed, the team has a lot of talent, but maybe not the right winning attitude to get this squad to the promised land.
#9: The Three and Outs (2-5) – Jermaine O’Neal
Inspired completely by this weeks trade, O’Neal became a sensation after being sent from the Blazers bench to the Pacers, and I fear the same thing might happen as Robinson goes to the Jets and TE jr getting full run in JAX.
#10 I Don’t Gano what I’m doing (2-5) – Travis Outlaw
Completely lovable, a lot of natural ability, but maybe didn’t have the strongest attention to detail… We’ve reached the Bye Week heavy portion of the season, which over the last few years has been Gano’s Achilles heal. Last weekend he started 5 players not slated to play on Sunday… Maybe that’s a good thing though, as he got the bulk of the byes out of the way and with that many out he probably would have lost anyways
#11 Nasty Nick (2-5) – Sebastian Telfair
Cam Akers is still on the roster, so how could I not name this team after a complete draft pick bust. Telfair is also from New York, and we know how Nick loves those new Yorkers. Nasty did get the W last week and for that I salute him.
#12: Drank with Power (1-6) – RAYMOND FELTON
While once a strong player, the one year Felton spent with the Trailblazers he was a out of shape and apathetic. In fact, he actually stated that himself, saying “I had one year when I was out of shape, now everybody wants to talk about my weight every year. It’s kind of getting old. It’s kind of getting on my nerves that that’s all you want to talk about.” That’s a heck a statement from somebody whose literal job is to be in superior conditioning. But alas, I fear that if my season keeps up its horrendous pace, all this league will talk about is the year the power ranker broke the record for lowest points ever.
PICKS OF THE WEEK (brought to you by Cost Less Auto Parts)
Lock of the Week (4-0): Three and Out over Nasty
Upset of the Week (1-3): So close last week! Going to take a shot at the king again, Gano over Mikes
NFL Spread (2-2): DET +3.5 over MIA
Go Blazers!
Go Ducks Go Power Rankings 
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